The Language of Fear—Finding Courage in Riding (Part 2)

This article is dedicated to all of us facing fear. 

(My greatest experience in dealing with fear is in relation to riding and training horses as well as helping riding students overcome their fears.  It is from this point of view that I address this topic.)

Dealing with fear is a part of the human experience.  It is something that everyone learning to ride must also contend with on a regular basis.  The question is, “How are you going to deal with your fears?”  Are you going to lash out at others with anger because you feel vulnerable with no control?  Are you going to let fear shrink your world, shying away from every experience that frightens you?    Or are you going to go numb and silent, allowing the horse (and the world) to toss you about like a ragdoll?

In part 1, we looked at the language of fear and the various ways I have observed horses and students deal with fear.  Now the million-dollar question is, “how do we proceed with our training once we’ve identified that fear is involved?”

Determine if the Fear is Warranted

Before continuing with methods, it is very important to note that when it comes to learning to ride and train horses some fears ARE VERY JUSTIFIED.  This is where it is important you find a professional who you can trust to help keep you safe.  Just throwing yourself at a fearful situation with abandon (and no training expertise) hoping that courage alone will get you through is not advisable.  We have centuries of knowledge and wisdom in solid training methods passed down to us through the tradition of the classical schools as well as professionals with decades of experience to help us navigate our issues.  Many have gone before us and have had to solve similar problems and pitfalls.  There is nothing that brings expertise like years punctuated with many failures. 

That warning being said, there is a kind of approach or roadmap I was taught and that I use myself to great success to deal with fear. 

Confronting Fear Sooner than Later

First and foremost, the sooner you can address your fear and act, the less engrained your fear will become and the less negative emotion you will experience overall.  This is why, when I was a child, I was taught to IMMEDIATELY get back on a horse after I came off. 

The first time I remember falling off was when I was a toddler, maybe 3 or 4 years old.  My parents were at a multi-day trail ride competition, and I was set upon the back of one of the horses that was tied to the trailer while they had lunch inside our camper.  All I remember of the experience was of being right side up one moment, and tumbling upside down the next; suddenly the horse’s belly was above me and the hooves were at eye level.  After a time, I was picked up, my world put right side up again and positioned back on the horse. All I remember past this point was keeping a MUCH tighter hold on the mane.

My next memorable experiences came from a very naughty Shetland pony.  I was probably about 5 years old.  While on trail rides with my parents, my pony would occasionally take off and go under low hanging pine tree branches to knock me off.  Every time I got wiped from the saddle, I had to get right back on regardless of any bruises.  I didn’t have a choice, really, mostly because we were miles away from home and the pony was my transportation back.  I’m sure this seems horrifying to many parents of today, but you must remember this was the ‘70’s, it was “cowboy culture” and the attitudes were very different from today.  However, please understand, this experience, as shocking as it might seem to some, has been invaluable in my riding career and especially to my life in general.   

You see, because of these experiences I learned to tackle my fears in the moment.  The minute I came off a horse or had an accident, if I wasn’t hurt too badly (meaning I could still walk, sort of), I would address the horse work on the training issue and/or get back on immediately.  Why is it important to address your fears as soon as possible?  Because the longer time passes the more it ingrains your fears and makes them worse. 

I have direct experience with this phenomenon.  One day I had a fall off a client’s new horse while mounting.  I broke my leg badly enough there was no possibility of getting back on.  It took 8 weeks, but I healed beautifully from the fracture,  in the meantime I could tell that fear had begun to take hold of my mind and I knew I had to get back on ANY horse as soon as possible.  I chose to have my first ride on my dead-broke, bomb-proof lesson horse but the fear had set in so deeply that I stood on the mounting block shaking with fear for many minutes.  It took every bit of courage I could muster to mount that horse that day.  It didn’t matter that I was an extremely experienced rider, it didn’t matter that I was about to mount the safest horse on the planet; I was paralyzed with fear, all because I had had 8 weeks for the fear to settle in and take hold. 

Every day I mounted a horse thereafter helped to erase the fear that was lodged deeply in my subconscious. This phenomenon is important to note.  Deeply set fears are weakened through successful practice.  This is why consistency in your habits and practice are so important.  Confidence is solidified by repeated successful experiences.

Deciding if Fear is Irrational

While fear can be warranted in many cases, it can also be very irrational.  It is a survival strategy that has the possibility to run amok when unaddressed and will completely impact your success as a rider.  Some students have very active imaginations and will come up with a whole myriad of fearful scenarios of what their horse might do all because fear has taken hold in their mind.  It doesn’t matter how much, as a professional, I protest that I don’t think their projected fears will happen, some students can become frozen and unable to proceed with a task or exercise.  In these cases, often the horse begins to pick up the fearful energy of the student and can become anxious and fearful as well; this demonstrates the mirror effect in riding.

Alternatively, some horses realize they have the upper hand and develop behaviors that trigger fear in the rider as a clever way to avoid things.  Your mind is a powerful riding aid, and you must always be aware of your thoughts when you’re on the back of a horse.  Your fears can become self-fulfilling if you’re not vigilant.  To pretend that the rider’s mindset isn’t a factor in riding and training is foolish and potentially harmful.

Visualization is one of the most effective ways to begin to rewrite the patterns of fear embedded in your mind.  Very few understand this aspect of riding as well as my teacher Dominique Barbier.  Projecting pictures of yourself successfully completing movements ahead in time is really the secret to overcoming fears and mental blocks.

Simplify and Slow Down

Regardless of whether our fears are rational or not, they are still there to be tackled.  How do we find our courage and act in the face of fear?  One…step…at…a…time. 

This is where a good riding instructor can be invaluable.  It is very helpful to break down the fearful situation into parts and start where you can challenge the task in a small way and progress piece by piece, building your confidence along the way until you can finally overcome it.  What is most important is to work toward success.  Positive experiences build positive outcomes, negative experiences build negative outcomes.  The slow and steady method is not a guarantee of success or that fear won’t raise its ugly head occasionally, but it is a way to discover your capacity for courage.  Sometimes the conflict with fear can be protracted; but with determination and vigilance you can stay on the winning side of the war with fear and continue your progress toward your long-term goals.

The one step at a time strategy works especially well when you and your horse are confronted with scary obstacles and/or riding areas.  For instance, if you are faced with riding through a “spooky” corner, start at the halt facing the scary direction.  Then ride your horse at the walk and halt every stride or couple of strides, always moving closer toward said invisible monsters.  Keep your direction and focus.  BREATHE.  Never underestimate the power of the breath to help you release anxiety and fear.  Praise the horse verbally (do not “throw away” your reins and lean forward though) and stay in position. Slow your work down, make it “too slow” or even imagine you’re in The Matrix movie where time moves glacially, frame by frame. 

As you proceed, continue to make yourself take deep breaths and ground through your feet and stirrups. When fearful thoughts arise become a detached observer watching your thoughts pass by as clouds in the sky. KEEP BREATHING and visualize walking calmly through.   Continue to praise the horse (and yourself) as you take one courageous step after the other.  Do not proceed unless you are facing your intended direction and take as long as you need to make progress.  Quit when you feel you have achieved a success and tackle it again the next time you ride, possibly pushing the envelope of what you achieved previously.

Change your Focus, Do your Shoulder-in

Sometimes addressing the fears head on is not the best way to tackle them.  Your focus determines your reality and if you find yourself staring them head on, sometimes they grow bigger out of proportion.  Distraction is a wonderful way to slip through those fears and discover that you are on the other side of them.

For instance, facing a horse directly at an object they find fearful can create more of a THING than it should be.  Put the horse to work, especially in shoulder-in where the horse’s mind becomes occupied with the movement and their sight is placed upon the interior of the bend.  Horses that like to “look” for things to shy at respond to this technique especially well.  The shoulder-in can become the focus and before you know it you will be floating calmly past the scary monsters.

Direct your focus on your own mental shoulder-in when you find yourself becoming preoccupied with fear and expectations of disaster. Count your rhythm, sing a song or recite a mantra that inspires you such as, “I ride with ease and joy, breathing.”  Make yourself “give” through the reins, relax your legs and back, all while saying, “I trust you.” 

Obviously, there are times when a situation is dicey, and you must be vigilant.  But even through your vigilance and presence to act, remind yourself to breathe and relax some part of your body. 

Improve your Riding Technique

Some fearful events happen with horses that cannot be anticipated.  In other words, the unpredictable can happen. Welcome to the world of working with horses!  However, a great number of accidents and bad experiences in riding occur because of poor training of both riders and horses. 

An unbalanced rider who has not developed an independent seat will be less secure in the saddle and likely to fall off when the horse spooks, bucks or bolts.  So, the first step is to improve your equitation and LEARN AN INDEPENDENT SEAT.  Mastering the classical seat will give you more security and confidence.  Your equitation has a great impact on your horse too, especially young or untrained horses who can easily become frightened by unbalanced or “grippy” riders.  The more independent your seat, the better you can apply your aids and bring confidence when your horse is frightened by new or startling experiences.

There is a saying, “You are either contracting or expanding in life”.  I believe that the greatest joy in life is when you are experiencing the edges of expansion, doing things you never thought you could do. Everyone has their own unique growth edges, and those edges continuously change throughout your life. 

Riding goals for each person are extremely personal.  For some, jumping a huge fence may be the ultimate challenge, while for others merely accomplishing a canter in a circle will be the supreme accomplishment. In both cases, it may require an act of courage for the individual involved.  That is what makes the journey through horsemanship so varied and personal. In the process of practicing your courage with horses, you discover things about yourself that you might never have unearthed otherwise and begin to liberate your great potential from the ingrained behavioral patterns that have kept you a virtual prisoner. 

Facing your Dragons

It has been said that courage is not the lack of fear, rather, it is to act in the face of fear.

Many equate courage with dramatic acts of heroism portrayed through movies or on the news.  What most do not realize is that they are faced with their own moments of courage in daily life; what may seem like a small inconsequential thing can feel as daunting and dramatic as those actions performed by the heroes we revere. 

The study of horsemanship was always seen in the past as an essential art to teach young warriors and leaders. That is why you always see the great military generals from history astride a horse in paintings and statues.  It was understood that it took great courage and skill to lead a fearful animal into battle past all the noise and melee and danger.  The leader who could conquer these fears and ride forth boldly to war on the back of a horse was considered worthy to be a leader of soldiers and nations.  In that way, horsemanship is the ultimate training ground for leadership and courage.

So, what is your choice going to be when you are faced with your fears in riding?  There is no right answer.  It is an intensely personal journey, one which is nuanced and which you must answer only to yourself.  Perhaps you deem some fears not worth tackling. Or perhaps, in some cases, you will pose the question to yourself, “Do I choose to be ruled by fear, or will I work on finding my courage?” 

Whether you choose to address one fear or another, I do believe that joy and happiness is found in the pursuit of expanding rather than contracting, and I sincerely wish for all to begin to reclaim their experiences from the grip of fear and in the process find their courage in riding and in life.